Birth Story - Updated with Picture

Sunday was an anxious day for me as I waited to find out whether or not I'd be going in to the hospital for an induction. Finally, I received word that there was room for me that night, and we headed off for the hospital.  When we got there, the whole main entrance was under construction, which really stressed me out.  The hospital had told us that if we didn't arrive on time, they might not start the induction, and I was hugely sick of being pregnant.  After finally finding our way to labor and delivery we were about a half hour late, only to find out we were the only ones in labor and delivery.  The ONLY people.

After we finished all the paperwork and were admitted we were taking to our room.  The nurse placed my IV, and put me on the monitors to watch Baby Girl and to watch for contractions.  As soon as she plugged the contraction monitor in we saw a pretty strong one go across the screen.  I didn't feel a thing.  I took this as a good sign.  Maybe I was already dilating?! It took another hour for the doctor to arrive to administer the cervidril himself.  Holy Hell.  I almost came up and out of the bed while he was placing the drug.  Add to that that there was no change to my cervix; still high and closed.  I was hoping that would be the worst of it.  But I was wrong.  About a half hour later the contractions started to get painful.

My doctor wouldn't let me have an epidural until I had dilated to a 4.  That became my goal.  All I had to do was make it through the night, he'd check me in the morning and then I'd get the good drugs.  Meanwhile, I was getting shots of something that took the pain away for about 45 minutes, but I was only allowed the shots every three hours.  So, 45 minutes of peace, then agony until the next shot.

During the night, my stomach decided to rebel against me.  I got horrid diarrhea as a reaction to the cervidril.  I got another shot of something to make the diarrhea stop, and a shot of zofran to ease up the nausea.  More cramps, more nausea, more diarrhea, more pain.

Soon, it's morning, and my doctor is there to take out the drug, and check my progress.  And after all that pain, there has to be progress, right?  Nope.  NONE.  Cervix still high and closed.  It was at this point that I burst into tears.  Thirteen hours of labor, thirteen hours of hell, and my body hadn't done anything right.  I was given three options: Go home and continue to labor on my own (Um, hell no); Start the pitocin and see if we can make the cervix respond (Dr. said it would more then likely fail and that he still wouldn't give me any good drugs until I was dilated to a four); Or do a c-section.  I think I debated for all of five minutes.  The pain needed to end, so a c-section it was!

Things after that are kind of a blur.  The anesthesiologist came in and started spouting off his stuff, my doctor started going through his stuff, and I was signing papers.  I remember telling everyone I didn't feel well, and throwing up (which up until the birth I hadn't done since 2003).  I remember someone coming in and shaving me, and someone coming in from the NuMom2B study and talking to me, but I don't remember about what.  I was focusing on making it through the contractions, and they were doozys!

They asked me to walk to the OR.  I laughed at them and they got me a wheelchair.  All I could think about at this point was that I would soon be getting a spinal and the pain would end.  I wish I could say that I was excited to meet my Anna, but that thought wasn't there.  When we got to the OR, they had me climb onto the table, and then the anesthesiologist started to work on my spinal.  It took him several tries, for which he kept apologizing, but honestly the pain was less than contractions, so it didn't faze me.  When he got it right, and the pain started melting away I was in heaven.

The rest of the birth is only in bits and pieces of memories.

I remember them setting up the curtain, hearing my doctor explaining the surgery to a resident, someone asking my husband if he wanted to see her born (his response, "no thanks") and then hearing the most beautiful cry in the world.  I started crying, and thinking of how much I'd been through to get here.  All of it was worth it (cliche, I know).  The Husband even teared up, although he denies it now.

They took her out, The Husband went with.  He came back with a picture of her and she was beautiful.  They brought her out to us, and all I could see were her eyes, but they were beautiful eyes.  Wheeled back to my room, and there was my mom, and I started crying all over again.  When I got back to the room I had my mom and The Husband unwrap her so I could count her fingers and toes.  Cue more tears.

It was quite the journey to get her here, but we are so happy!

She's Here!

Anna was born at 9:36am on Monday morning.  She weighed in at 8 pounds 9 ounces and was 20.5 inches long.  She is absolutely beautiful, and me and The Husband love her to pieces!

We were released to come home from the hospital Thursday, and that's about the time I got the stomach bug from hell.  We've been trying to take care of me, and Anna since, and battling guilt as we discuss breastfeeding and formula due to the fact that I've been to sick to nurse since we got home.  We were able to get a used breast pump, so it looks like Anna will be able to get some breast milk by bottle, and then we'll supplement with formula.

It's been a rough first week, but I promise to post the birth story soon.  Right now I'm focusing on getting better and learning about my little one.

Getting closer to meeting Baby Girl

Well, today is the big day.  Or rather the lead up to the Big Day.  Tonight I go to the hospital to start the induction process.  I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous as heck!  In the past two months so many "caring" moms have told me their birth stories and other peoples horror birth stories that I've got all these images in my brain that won't go away.  I mean, really, was that necessary?  Did they have to do it because it was done to them?

And to jump off on a tangent here, you know how many judgmental people are telling me that they would never have an induction?  I've heard: to many risks; it's not natural; wait for the baby to decide when she's ready; and my favorite, just relax and it will happen.  I'm 8 days past due people.  Screw relaxing, screw waiting on her timeline, and screw natural (honestly with the Femera, it wasn't really a natural conception anyway, why should her birth be all natural?).  I'll take the risks, I want my Baby Girl out!

Ok, tangent over.  Besides being nervous, I'm so super excited!  Baby Girl is going to be here soon!  I can't wait to hold her, and then scold her for taking so long to come out.  The Husband is excited too, although he's trying to hide it.  If I didn't know him better, I'd be really peeved about his attitude.  But it's the same face he presented when we were getting married: happy indifference.  Also, I think he is nervous about the labor and possible c-section.

Off to watch some Vampire Diaries to kill time until tonight.

Bullet Point Update

Have you missed me?  I've missed me!  My computer has been dead for almost three weeks, and I couldn't post at work.  So, here is a whole bunch of updates for you:

• Baby Girl is officially past due.  She is also huge.  Had an ultrasound done today to determine size, and the doctor is estimating her at 9lbs 5oz.  He said he could be off a pound in either direction.  Let's hope he's an over-estimator!
• We've scheduled an induction date.  I will go in to the hospital next Sunday the 28th and start the process.  That means by this time next week I should have a little (haha) baby girl in my arms!  It's really nice to have an end date in sight.
• However, my cervix remains relatively unchanged.  The doctor says it is not "favorable" and that my odds of having a c-section are way up.  Add that to her size and he told me to mentally prepare myself for that.  Joy.  I was really hoping to not have to cross that bridge, but I will do whatever it takes to get Baby Girl here.
• The little popsicle hoarding doorbell ringing annoyance girl next door came over to check on me last night.  She can't quite grasp the concept that Baby Girl was due Saturday and still isn't here.  She told me that as long as we were waiting, why not wait until March so they could have the same birthday?  
• Then, she asked me if I was excited to have this baby because "You used to be so skinny!"  I'm taking it as a compliment.  Someone thought I was skinny before!
• Speaking of weight, I'm down two pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.  Factor in 9 pounds of baby, and I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself.
• I have become addicted to The Vampire Diaries.  Net flix does not get them to me fast enough.  Stephan is cute and all, but Damon has me won over.  And the fact that they routinely make fun of Twilight?  Love it!  (I'll let you in on a little secret: I'm not a fan of the Twilight movies.  The Husband, however, is a major Twi-hard.)
• I'm also reading a ton.  I will take any and all book suggestions!  I'm currently re-reading The Wheel of Time series.

I think that's about it.  I'm off work on maternity leave (not by choice, my contract ran out of money for the fiscal year) and trying to enjoy my free time while I can.  Hopefully the computer keeps working so I can update you guys more often!

Dreams

I had an amazing, yet heartbreaking dream last night.  And it's pretty much all I can think about this morning.

I've told you that baby girls name will be Anna Beth.  The Beth part comes from my Grandma.  She was, and will always be, my hero.  She was the center of everything, the one with all the knowledge and answers.  She always had a solution to a problem, although sometimes the solutions were not practical at all.  She died in 2006, and I miss her so very much.

Last night I had a dream where she visited me at my house.  I got to show her around, and she talked to me about how proud she was that I was married and a homeowner.  We both oohed and ahhed over all the baby things in the nursery.  She told me how excited she was that I was having a baby.  She gave me a great big hug and told me that I was going to be a great mother.  I wanted to stay in that dream forever, but finally my Grandma told me she had to go, but that she would be watching over me and baby girl.

I'm not an overly religious person, but I am very spiritual.  And I know that wherever great people like my Grandma go after they die, that she's happy there.  And I'm holding on to the idea that it wasn't just a dream, that somehow I was really with her last night.  And that she will watch over me and little Anna Beth.

And I hope that someday, I can explain to my baby girl how special her name really is.

Back among the living

I am finally counting myself back among the living.  Last week was rough.  Bronchitis.  Boo.

I wasn't feeling my best last Sunday, but didn't think much of it.  I have heard, after all, about how women feel crappy the closer they get to delivery.  So there I was feeling slightly ashamed for being a "normal fertile type pregnant person". . . And so I figured I didn't need to tell anyone I wasn't feeling great.  No need to whine.

By Tuesday I was feeling pretty awful.  And decided to mention it at my checkup.  Told the doctor how I was feeling, he did his doctor thing, and told me I had bronchitis.  Huh.  No wonder I felt like shit.  And can I just say, that momentary flash of triumph that I wasn't just a whiny pregnant person?  Priceless!  So the doctor put me on antibiotics and told me to rest and all that junk.  And today?  Today I finally feel like I am back to normal.  Still have a lingering cough and runny nose, but nothing I can't handle. 

In other related news, I had my 36 week checkup last Tuesday, and baby girl has dropped.  Which was nice of her since I was having problems breathing with the bronchitis.  Had the strep b test done (why didn't any of you previously pregnant ladies warn me about this?!?) And a cervix check that showed I wasn't dilated at all and my cervix was hard.  Which is ok, because baby girl still has time left before she needs to be here.

I have my 37 week appointment tomorrow, so we'll see if anything has changed!  I'll update you guys sooner this time, I promise.

Summer

The popsicle plan backfired.  But surprisingly, not in the way I thought it would.  I figured once the kids got a taste of the free sugar, they'd be asking for popsicles every day.  Of course, I was prepared for this; I bought a giant thing of popsicles!

Instead, I now have lots of friends.  Lots of friends who are 10 years old or younger.  They come over to my house every night when I get home, not to ask for a treat, but to hang out.  They tell me all about their day (which usually involves riding bikes, swimming, and whatever cool dead thing they found).  Then they check up on me and the baby, play with Moo for awhile, and then leave.

I know, you're thinking it doesn't sound so bad.  And it wasn't at first.  I was honestly a little honored that these kids thought I was "cool" enough to talk to.  But soon one visit a night was two, and then three, and then more.

I attempt to ignore them when they ring the doorbell, but then they start knocking on the door.  And the dog goes nuts.  And if I continue to ignore them, they start ringing the doorbell again.  Then knocking.  I timed it once, they were out there for five minutes!  Once they even opened my door and started to come in to the house (they got an earful for that one).

Monday I'd had enough, and went down and explained to the kids that if I didn't answer after they rang the doorbell once, I wasn't going to, and they had to stop.  Their little faces looked so sad.  So I gave them popsicles.