It's been too long since I last posted.  And I have no real good reason for not posting.  On the surface, my life these past two weeks has been perfect.  My dad is out of the hospital, and has been release to return to work.  My husband received a promotion at work and now gets to do what he's wanted to do forever, computer programming.  I'm still liking my job, and loving the fact that congress passed a budget so I get to keep working.

And I know what you're thinking: Amber, you're pregnant, you've got it all!  Just shut up already.

And I would tend to agree with you.  Which is why this week has been so hard.  I have no reason to explain the depression I've been battling this week.  It's been a struggle to get up each morning, and a battle to not retreat directly to bed when I get home from work.  I've been fighting the blahs tooth and nail this week, and even then not winning.  And then on top of feeling depressed, I've felt guilty for feeling depressed.  Issues?  Yep, I have em.

Two things changed my outlook this week.  The first was a lovely package from Genevieve with some beautiful butterfly photo stands that are going to look so amazing in the baby's room.  How she managed to send them at a time when I needed something beautiful is beyond me, but I'm so very grateful!

The second was being able to see my little Anna on an ultrasound.  During the last ultrasound the doctors office couldn't get a clear picture of her heart, and so we had to have another one done yesterday.  And there she was, moving around, looking healthy and right on track.  And I realized that she was the reason I've been fighting to get up in the morning, and the reason I'm not hiding in my bed at night.  I fought for two years to get to this place, and I'll keep fighting to keep my head above water.

Hopefully I'm back from the black hole of this past week.  I've been dealing with depression for more than a decade, and I'd like to say that I won't fall back into that hole.  But at least I know I can always climb back out.

Just a quick update.  My dad's surgery went well.  The doctor even told us that he had a fantastic anatomy and that the surgery was textbook.  Great things to hear when they are messing around with the aorta in your dad's body.

He was in ICU for about 12 hours after the surgery so they could monitor him closely.  Then he was moved to a regular room for another day or so.  He was released this morning, and is now home resting.  I'll be taking part of tomorrow off from work to give my mom a break and some well deserved time to her self.

It's been a long interesting week, but it's ending well, and that's what matters.

Good and Bad

Things have been hectic here for the past week or so.  Hence the lack of blogging.  I would just get a post written, only to have the very thing I was writing about change.  The week has been full of good things and bad things, and for the most part those things have resolved themselves.

As you know, I'm a government employee (contractor) and that meant that I was facing furlough.  Never has the news coming out of Washington DC interested me as much as it has in the last month.  When someone else's decisions can affect your financial future, it makes for interesting watching.  They of course passed a temporary resolution late Friday night, and are working on writing the new budget for the year into law.  I'll be honest, part of me is relieved that I am working today, and part of me is a little bummed not to have gotten a day or two off.

Then there's my dad.  He's scheduled for surgery to repair his aortic aneurysm tomorrow.  I'm really nervous about this, and didn't really want to write that last sentence.  Somehow telling all of you what he's facing makes it seem more real.  So I've been avoiding putting it into words and making it concrete.  But it is what it is.  We find out this evening what time he'll be wheeled into surgery tomorrow.  After the surgery is performed he'll be in the ICU for a time to make sure all his vitals stay where they should be.  I really don't want to see my dad in ICU.  It was hard enough seeing him in the hospital the beginning of March.  As always, prayers and positives thoughts are welcome.

And finally, to end this post on a positive note, we started on the nursery this weekend!  I've picked out a bed set, and we painted the walls.  The Husband is not so sure about the color I picked, but I'm happy with it.  When I get home I'll post a picture so you can check it out.  It was a fun weekend.  My parents came up to help with the painting, and I really enjoyed getting to spend some time with them.

Second Ultrasound

Baby girl wasn't playing nice at the ultrasound yesterday at my doctors office.  We didn't get any good pictures of her this time.  She would not stop moving!  It was really fun to see my parents faces as they watched her on the screen.  My dad was in awe, and I could tell my mom was already in love. 

The doctor wasn't able to confirm the sex, but did say that he's 70% sure its a girl.  We didn't tell him that we'd already found out, because I didn't want his opinion to be biased (yes, I'm paranoid, deal with it).  The tech at the first ultrasound was 99% sure it was a girl, so I'm thinking we're safe.

All of baby girls organs looked good, and she's measuring about 4 days ahead.  The doctor wasn't able to get a great veiw of her heart, so we'll be having another ultrasound at the next visit in 4 weeks. Darn.

NuMom2B Study Visit Two

I wasn't as nervous for the second study visit as I was for the first.  I know what was going to happen, and this study visit pretty much followed the last one.  I think the reason I was nervous was because I was going to find out what we were having, boy or girl.

When I got there, I had to give my urine sample, and then do the vaginal swabs.  No big deal.  After that they took two vials of blood, and luckily I got the same nurse as last time, so I didn't have to reexplain my stupid veins!

After the blood work, they asked me a whole bunch of questions, some of which were repeats from my last visit.  They asked about my racial background, my husbands racial background, and then the background of each of our biological parents.  (Which quite honestly seemed silly to me, as if my background came from someplace other than my biological parents)

Then came the fun part: the ultrasound!  They found the heartbeat quickly and measured that.  Then they determined the baby had two hands and two feet, a head and other things.  I'm not sure what all they were looking for or at, I just stared at the image of my baby on the screen.  They kept saying things like "There's his hands" or "He's being so stubborn."  I thought that was how they were going to tell me what my baby was, by referring to the baby with pronouns.

But then the tech moved down to the baby's bottom, and she said "It's definitely a girl!" and I was floored.  A baby girl!  So much for a mothers intuition!

After we found out what we were having, the tech used the ultrasound to measure the blood flow in both of my arteries that flow to the baby.  She turned on the blood flow part of the ultrasound, and I could see the red and blue on the screen that showed my blood pumping.  It was a really neat experience.

Then I had to have a vaginal ultrasound to measure the length of my cervix.  They didn't tell me what it was, but they didn't look like I was in immediate danger either, so I was ok with that.

After all the ultrasounds were done, I was weighed, and had my blood pressure taken.  Then I was asked more questions regarding how I handle stress and conflict.  All in all, not an unpleasant hour.

I also got a dvd of the ultrasound, and a bunch of pictures to bring home.

Bubbles Big Reveal - Updated with Picture

We had an 8am ultrasound appointment today.  Yeah, 8am.  I'm still yawning, but that could be because I was to excited to sleep last night.

Me and The Husband drove separately, and The Husband was late.  Since it was a NuMom2B study visit, they did all the other fun stuff first.  But I'll write another post about the visit so that I can get into more details.  (on a side note, I can't tell you how many blog hits I'm receiving because I'm writing about this study!)

So we do all the other stuff, and then The Husband is there.  And we start the ultrasound.  It's not the in depth one where they measure everything, that one will be Wednesday.  But they take all their measurements, listen to the heartbeat, and then ask if I want to know what we're having.  Um yeah!!

And here's the fun part.  My intuition was wrong.  Intelligender was wrong.  It's a girl!!  Anna Beth.  Anna after my mom's middle name, and Beth after my grandmother.  I can't wait to meet her!

I'm still in shock.  I've been using the wrong pronouns.  I was so sure!  The Husband is thrilled.  He's been saying girl since the day we found out we were pregnant.  I'm thrilled as well, but like I said, still in shock.

What a fun birthday it's been so far!
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I'm hoping to get better pictures at tomorrows ultrasound, but here's a profile picture of Anna.

New Page

I've created a new page just for Bubbles stuff.  Look up and you'll see where to click!  So far I only have one belly shot, but more will be coming.

If I ever get brave enough to post a ticker, that's where it will be.  I feel like I'm jinxing myself enough already by having a page for Bubbles.  Yeah, I have issues.