Seven Little Stones

I heard an amazing song today.




It made me think about who and what has been holding me up during this IF battle.  And my first thought was of my blogger friends and how much blogging has helped me.

So thank you ladies.  Thank you for helping hold me up, and for helping me to smile through the dark moments.  Thank you for your humor and your hugs.  I don't know where I'd be without them.

FML version 2

So, while we were camping the topic of my infertility came up (I'm very open with my family and friends about our struggles. The only thing I hide is my blog).  I was telling them about the femara, and the lack of icky side effects and all that.  And I casually mentioned to my SIL R, that next time they want to get pregnant again, she should ask for it instead.  As a refresher, R is the one who got pregnant after her first month on clomid.

And then I had a serious WTF moment with her.  Because she doesn't believe it was the clomid that got her pregnant.  And it wasn't the metformin the doctor put her on either.  Nope, even though they tried on their own for two years with no luck, and the first time they get help they got pregnant, it wasn't the drugs. 

Know what it was?  She relaxed.  FML.

Camping. . . again

Well, interwebs, I'm off for another camping trip.  Hopefully this one turns out better than the last one.  Last time we only spent one night, and then had to go home due to a huge rainstorm. 

This time, I'm heading to Boulder, Utah.  It's a lot of fun, and southern Utah is so beautiful!  If you ever get the opportunity to see southern Utah interwebs, take it.  I grew up around it, and it still stuns me by how different and starkly beautiful it is.  I'll take lots of pictures, as always, and hopefully actually post a few!

I'm a few days into my 2ww.  I go into the doctors office next Tuesday for a blood draw to see if I ovulated.  I'm not entirely sure this time, but the opks said I did.

Also, a question for anyone who has taken femara.  I have the sorest bbs right now.  Like, wishing I could wear a bra to bed sore.  Is that normal for that drug?  Or am I just special?

I hope you all have a fabulous Labor Day weekend! 

I need a new pharmacy

Remember this?  The annoying time I had at the pharmacy last week trying to get my femara?

Fast forward to today, when I finally look through my pile of mail (come on, you know you've done that too), and see a letter from the pharmacy.  My first thought it "Oh no!  My insurance must not have paid them for something and they are sending me a bill.  Crap."

And then I open it.  And it's not a bill.  It's a letter telling me that they saw that I've been prescribed femara.  And that they are here to help me with my breast cancer journey.  And that even though I have breast cancer, they know I will overcome it and live a long healthy life.

Apparently 5 femara pills can cure breast cancer.  Who knew?

A quote

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity
--Seneca

Wow.

I just got back from the pharmacy.  Went to pick up my femara and metformin.  Had to explain to the pharmacy tech why I was taking femara.

Me: I'm taking that pill so I can get pregnant.
Idiot: But it's meant for breast cancer.
Me:  Yeah, but I'm not taking it for that.  I'm taking it to induce (hopefully) ovulation so I can get pregnant.
Idiot: Blank Look
Me: See, some of us can't get pregnant so easily.  And we have to use other methods to help us. . .
Idiot: But on your list of prescriptions, it says you are taking birth control pills.
Me: Yeah, I took those last month to shrink some ginormous cysts that I grew from taking the last fertility drug.
Idiot: But won't they counteract each other?
Me: I'm not taking the bc pills anymore.
Idiot: Well I'm going to have to have the pharmacist ok this before I can give them to you.

Seriously?  JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN DRUGS.  Holy hell, I'm pms-ing anyway, and now angry that I have to explain infertility to some fresh faced 19 year old, and now you tell me I have to talk to the pharmacist??!?

Pharmacist:  Tell me yourself why you are taking these drugs.  The tech said it was for fertility treatment?
Me: Yeah, the clomid didn't work and so the doctor moved me to femara.
Pharmacist: Why would he put you on birth control pills if you are trying to get pregnant?
Me: (seriously angry now, but trying to stay polite) He put me on bc pills to help shrink a giant ovarian cyst that grew from the clomid.
Pharmacist: Well I guess since the same doctor prescribed both drugs, he knows what he is doing.  But we'll have to see next month.  You'll have to go in for a follow up visit to your doctor before we can give you more.

I had to sign the thing saying I accepted his counseling (like he knows more than my doctor about infertility?) and they finally handed over the drugs.

And as I type this all out, I'm struck by the thought that I was on bc pills in January when that same pharmacy gave me my clomid.

Hell.  This is all so damn frustrating!

One Month Follow Up Visit

I went back to the doctor today for my follow up appointment to check on the cysts.  And I'm happy to report they've shrunk.  I still have a few cysts on each ovary, but the biggest one now is an inch.  He said my ovaries looked "classic poly cystic."  And I've got to admit, I was proud of the little suckers for at least doing something textbook.

I'm off of clom.id and on to femara.  Crossing my fingers that this will do the trick.  I also talked to the doctor about other parts of the PCOS diagnosis and what to do to take care of myself.  Since I've been diagnosed I've lost 26 pounds, which is awesome, but still not enough.  So I'm going to continue to eat healthy, and exercise and hopefully drop some more weight.  The doctors also put me on metformin.  I'm a little nervous of the side effects, but hope the good outweighs the bad.

In other news, it's looking more and more likely that I will get to keep my job!  Of course, since my contract doesn't end until September 12th (a Sunday by the way, which makes no sense to me as I work M-F) I don't expect to hear anything concrete until September 10th.  But as you are sending positive thoughts out there for other people, send a small one out to the universe for me.  Life would be so much easier if I get to keep my job!

My mom has started physical therapy for her arm, and is hating every minute of it.  For once I get to sound like the parent when I tell her "It's for your own good.  One day you'll look back on this and be grateful."  Yeah, I'm totally practicing my mom skills.

Life has been pretty quiet otherwise at our house.  We've been catching up on yard work and house work, and really enjoying our break month.