Friday, April 29, 2011

It's been too long since I last posted.  And I have no real good reason for not posting.  On the surface, my life these past two weeks has been perfect.  My dad is out of the hospital, and has been release to return to work.  My husband received a promotion at work and now gets to do what he's wanted to do forever, computer programming.  I'm still liking my job, and loving the fact that congress passed a budget so I get to keep working.

And I know what you're thinking: Amber, you're pregnant, you've got it all!  Just shut up already.

And I would tend to agree with you.  Which is why this week has been so hard.  I have no reason to explain the depression I've been battling this week.  It's been a struggle to get up each morning, and a battle to not retreat directly to bed when I get home from work.  I've been fighting the blahs tooth and nail this week, and even then not winning.  And then on top of feeling depressed, I've felt guilty for feeling depressed.  Issues?  Yep, I have em.

Two things changed my outlook this week.  The first was a lovely package from Genevieve with some beautiful butterfly photo stands that are going to look so amazing in the baby's room.  How she managed to send them at a time when I needed something beautiful is beyond me, but I'm so very grateful!

The second was being able to see my little Anna on an ultrasound.  During the last ultrasound the doctors office couldn't get a clear picture of her heart, and so we had to have another one done yesterday.  And there she was, moving around, looking healthy and right on track.  And I realized that she was the reason I've been fighting to get up in the morning, and the reason I'm not hiding in my bed at night.  I fought for two years to get to this place, and I'll keep fighting to keep my head above water.

Hopefully I'm back from the black hole of this past week.  I've been dealing with depression for more than a decade, and I'd like to say that I won't fall back into that hole.  But at least I know I can always climb back out.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Just a quick update.  My dad's surgery went well.  The doctor even told us that he had a fantastic anatomy and that the surgery was textbook.  Great things to hear when they are messing around with the aorta in your dad's body.

He was in ICU for about 12 hours after the surgery so they could monitor him closely.  Then he was moved to a regular room for another day or so.  He was released this morning, and is now home resting.  I'll be taking part of tomorrow off from work to give my mom a break and some well deserved time to her self.

It's been a long interesting week, but it's ending well, and that's what matters.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Good and Bad

Things have been hectic here for the past week or so.  Hence the lack of blogging.  I would just get a post written, only to have the very thing I was writing about change.  The week has been full of good things and bad things, and for the most part those things have resolved themselves.

As you know, I'm a government employee (contractor) and that meant that I was facing furlough.  Never has the news coming out of Washington DC interested me as much as it has in the last month.  When someone else's decisions can affect your financial future, it makes for interesting watching.  They of course passed a temporary resolution late Friday night, and are working on writing the new budget for the year into law.  I'll be honest, part of me is relieved that I am working today, and part of me is a little bummed not to have gotten a day or two off.

Then there's my dad.  He's scheduled for surgery to repair his aortic aneurysm tomorrow.  I'm really nervous about this, and didn't really want to write that last sentence.  Somehow telling all of you what he's facing makes it seem more real.  So I've been avoiding putting it into words and making it concrete.  But it is what it is.  We find out this evening what time he'll be wheeled into surgery tomorrow.  After the surgery is performed he'll be in the ICU for a time to make sure all his vitals stay where they should be.  I really don't want to see my dad in ICU.  It was hard enough seeing him in the hospital the beginning of March.  As always, prayers and positives thoughts are welcome.

And finally, to end this post on a positive note, we started on the nursery this weekend!  I've picked out a bed set, and we painted the walls.  The Husband is not so sure about the color I picked, but I'm happy with it.  When I get home I'll post a picture so you can check it out.  It was a fun weekend.  My parents came up to help with the painting, and I really enjoyed getting to spend some time with them.