Monday, April 26, 2010

Hiya Interwebs!  I know I've been absent on the posting for awhile.  I don't really have any good excuses for you either.  The whole, the dog ate my blog thing doesn't work well.  Things have just been meandering along here on my end of the blogsphere. 

I got to start POAS on Friday, and its really fun to see two pink lines for a change.  Yes, I know they are ovulation predictors, but let me have my moment!  Now I'm into the "Is this line darker than the control? Which one was the control? Is it darker today then it was yesterday?" game.  I've even got my husband involved.  We both study the pee sticks in different light to try to determine whats on them.  The things we go through while TTC!

In other news, my asthma hasn't gotten any better from the "cold from hell" and I was back in the doctors office today.  She listened to my lungs, and then took off out of the room telling me she had something that would help.  It was a big shot.  In the butt.  OUCH.  I felt bad for the other TTC ladies who had to do shots before, but honestly?  I have a new sympathy for all of you!

The shot seems to be helping, at the very least I'm breathing a little better which is good.  I've also got some more pills to take (yeah, more drugs) and a new inhaler.  If I don't show improvment in two more weeks I have to go on predni.sone.  Blah, stupid lungs!

Anyway, its been an ok last few days.  Nothing crazy going on.  I'm enjoying ICLW, and finding a lot of new blogs to follow, and have even got some new followers!  Hi new followers! 

I'm off to POAS for the night. 

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My First ICLW!

If you've found my blog from IComLeavWe, welcome!  Me and my hubby are starting our first medicated cycle this month.  I took my last Clo.mid pill on Monday.  In a couple of days I get to start POAS to see if I ovulate.  I'm really excited, and really nervous, and a whole bunch of other emotions! 

Since I'm not really good with the whole introducing myself thing, I thought I'd throw out some random facts about myself (because random facts are fun, and the allow me to use bullet points, which I secretly love)
  • I met my husband online at Match dot com.  When we met in person, our first date lasted 10 hours, and we've been pretty much inseparable since then.
  • I read entirely to much.  And I have fantasies of someday writing my own book. 
  • I kind of told my father in law that I wanted to run a marathon with him.  I'm hoping he'll settle for a 5k.  
  • I have a shih tsu named Moo, and a cat named Mister.  They are the recipients of all of my pent up maternal energies.  
  • I love to knit and crochet.
  • Since I married my husband I turned into a computer geek.  At least one Saturday night a month you will find me and my hubby playing Civ IV until the wee hours of the morning.
  • My hubby has also turned me into a bit of a redneck.  Not only do I know how to shoot now, and shoot well, I own my own guns.  And I camp, which is huge considering I used to consider staying at a Motel 6 "roughing it"
That's all I can think of for now.  Thanks for stopping by!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Hot Flashes and Hope

So here I am on day 4 of my 5 day 'mid routine.  And mother of all things good, I am so freakin hot!  At this point I vow never to make fun of my mom when she has hot flashes again.  It started yesterday, but I didn't think to much of it because it was warm yesterday.  But today at work was another matter.  I'd be feeling perfectly normal, and then WHAM.  The hot flash hits, and suddenly I want to strip off everything!  Can you say miserable? 

Add this to the fact that I was completing a big ol nasty project at work that was assigned to me and Dingbat.  Dingbat had other things to do, so I have been working on the project myself.  No, I'm really not that nice, I honestly didn't want her to screw it up.  See, I'm a bad person!  Anyway, remember last week when I couldn't breathe?  I asked Dingbat to take over the project (because it was due today) when I left Wednesday because I wasn't feeling well.  I told her I didn't think I would be in the next day, and I would appreciate her help.  And she agreed. 

When I got back to work today, I noticed she had sent out emails telling those in charge that she was taking over the project I had dropped the ball on (WTF).  And, AND, on top of that, she didn't even finish it!  Ok, I know, some of this anger is clo.mid related.  But (excuse me here while I cuss out loud) What. The. Fuck.  I thought it might be the case, so I had come into work early today.  And when Dingbat finally shows up almost 30 minutes later than she was supposed to, do you know what she says to me?  "Finally you came back" 

Interwebs, I'm not going to lie.  I kind of lost it.  I looked at Dingbat and said "You know what?  I was really sick.  I'm still sick, but today I can function.  So I came back.  But Thursday night I stopped breathing because of my asthma" (ok, thats an exaggeration, but deal with it).  And she says, "Oh, I didn't know.  I thought you just skipped work."  Grrr.  Whatever, I sent her and my supervisor an email letting them know I would be out, and she responded to it! 

Ok, I'm calming down now.  I did damage control when I got to work.  I sent an email to the attorney requesting the big ol nasty project and attatched a copy of what I had done, and let him know that I would have it finished by close of business today.  I told my supervisor that I wasn't going to be able to take on any new tasks today because of the project.  And I was able to get it done by the time I left today.  Phew!

On to the hope part of this blog post.  I went to the accupuncturist after work.  If there was ever a day I needed relaxation you can bet it was today.  Today the acupuncture session was focused on my ovaries (Yeah!).  As I was laying there, trying to clear my mind and think positive things, I was overwhelmed with this strange sensation.  It took me awhile, and then I knew, it was hope.  And that hope was followed very quickly by fear. 

I finally feel as if I am working in the right direction to get a baby, and that is so exciting.  Just the thought that this could be "The Month" leaves me giddy.  But it also leaves me feeling vulnerable, and scared, and alone.  I'm a little nervous to let hope out of the closet I'd locked her in a few months ago.  If she comes out, she'll bring her friends: vulnerability and fear.  And I don't like her friends. 

Friday, April 16, 2010

Apparently its not just my ovaries that hate me

First off, thanks for the comments on the 'mid!  I figured this time I'd do it the doctors way and if nothing happens, I'll talk to him and see if we can change it next time.  That means I took my first pill last night.  Nothing scary happening yet, but honestly, that could be because of the cold from hell.

Last night I couldn't sleep well at all.  And I'm pretty sure it wasn't the 'mid.  I kept waking up gasping for air.  It really freaked me out!  It would take me awhile to fall back asleep, and then an hour later I was gasping for air again.  So first thing this morning, I went to the doctor (yeah, I know, gasping for air several times. . . had it been anyone else I would have taken them to an instacare.)  This evil cold from hell has wreaked havoc on my lungs.  Turns out when the doctor told me I had asthma, I should have listened.  My lungs were fighting for air, and I was able to breathe ok until I would go into a deep sleep.  Then my lungs got all pissy and stopped breathing.

When I got to the doctor this morning, she said that my asthma was really bad.  So now I'm on some crazy asthma medicine to get my lungs all open and happy again.  Joy, more medicine.

On the plus side, turns out that whole big decision about going camping?  It was made for me.  So now I've got the house all to myself, well myself Mister and Moo.  I've got the freezer stocked with popsicles, and ice cream. I have homemade soup from my mom.  And I've got a bunch of blankets, and the tv remote!  Now I just need to focus on feeling better.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Clomid Question

Ok, so I'm totally venturing into the unknown here.  This will be my first cycle with Clo.mid, and I'm pretty nervous, yet excited, yet scared to death.  I called my OB this morning and asked what I should consider CD1, since I started spotting yesterday.  I left a message with his nurse, and she called me back this evening.

Now, I know I should cut them some slack.  She's probably one of those cute Utah gals that got pregnant by sleeping next to her husband.  But do you know what she said to me? "CD1 is when you period starts"  Really?  Huh, gee, I didn't know that.  Thanks for the help.  *rolls eyes*

So then I ask her in a more pointed way "Does spotting count as the first cycle day?  Because the Dr. wants me to start taking clo.mid on CD3, so I need to know what he considers to be CD1."  She gets all quiet and says, "Um, I'm going to have to ask the Dr.  I'm new here, and I don't know all of these things yet"

Sigh.  When I left the message I specifically asked for what the Dr. considers CD1 since I was supposed to start taking the 'mid on CD3.  Granted, I have a cold from hell, and my voice sounds like mickey mouse, but still.  I know I specifically asked that.  So why wouldn't you check before calling me back?  (See this people, this is just plain moodiness, not even drug induced moddiness.  Pray for my hubby if the 'mid affects me badly)

Anyway, she called me back and said that any spotting is considered CD1 according to the Dr.  So my question is this (I know, it took forever to get there. . . ):  Does this sound right to you?  Because from what I read in blogs it doesn't sound the same.  And I know I should go with what my Dr. says, but. . . well, I tend to question everything.

The Weekend, Part 1

I had such grand plans of updating you sooner.  I really did.  No, Really!

I had an awesome weekend with L.  Our conversation started when I got to the hotel on Friday, and ended when she left on Sunday.  I gave her a no holds barred version of what is going on in my world, fertility issues and all.  She talked about being a mom to an adorable one year old, and how its wearing her out (secretly, I want to  be the one who's all worn out).  She even offered to be a surrogate if we need one.  Pretty awesome.

So Friday night we stayed up forever till 9pm, drinking wine water, and watching tv.  Yeah, we're totally awesome like that.  I'm pretty sure we both fell asleep before the big reveal on TLC's What Not To Wear, and I'm not going to lie, I'm a little disapointed I didn't get to see what they did with the girls hair. 

Saturday we went shopping.  At IKEA.  Where we stayed for 4 hours.  And spent $2000 (on $30 of which was mine).  Holy shit, batman!  L was sent down to Utah with shopping lists from her friends in Boise.  One of those friends is opening up a baby boutique, with baby stuff and stuff for new moms.  (Yeah, a little ouch there, but not too bad.  When I get preggers I'm totally getting something from her shop since I helped schlep all the stuff she was buying)  L is helping the baby boutique friend out in order to get her product on the shelf.  A post natal vitamin.  Pretty cool eh? 

After spending four hours time and all eternity at IKEA, we went to a great store called TaiPan Trading Co.  It's a store here in Utah full of house decorating stuff.  Pictures, flowers, knick knacks, holiday stuff, its all there.  AND its all affordable.  I totally heart this store. 

Then we went and got pedicures (to soothe the hurt feets from shopping all day).  I got cute stripes, L got a flower, and the Taiwanese people who did our toes thought we were sisters.  Yeah, they got a good tip.

L left on Sunday, and left me exhausted!  But what a fun weekend!  I'm already trying to plan a trip up to Boise in May. 

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I'm back from the weekend. . .

And I'll fill you in on what happened later, I promise.  But we didn't get kicked out of anyplace, and we didn't make it to any bars.

I had a grand plan of updating you tonight on what happened over the weekend, but then I got a text message.  From a friend that I haven't seen since the day I got married, 2+ years ago.  The last time I saw her, she was leaving after the ceremony in tears.  She was supposed to be a bridesmaid, but a lot happened and it didn't work out.  It's a long story, but we haven't really talked since then.

I've really missed this friend, and am cautiously excited to see her again.  I'll let you know all the details when I can!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Hurry up Weekend!

Hiya Interwebs! *waves*

I had to share my excitement somewhere, and this is the place (lame Utah joke. . . )

My great friend from Idaho, L, is coming to visit me this weekend.  I haven't seen her in about 8 months, and I'm so excited!  We've been friends since we were two, no joke.  Our moms tell us that when L was dropped off at daycare for the first time, I protected her from all the other kids.  As we got older, it was always L protecting me! 

Even though L moved from Utah when she was five, we've managed to stay friends.  I used to go up there for one week every summer, and she'd come down here for a week.  We were pen pals back when people still used pen and paper to write letters.  Then we were AOL friends.  Now we've morphed into Facebook.  It's nice to be able to keep up with what she's doing even though she's so far away.

I can quite literally talk to L about anything, and I'm pretty sure she feels the same way.  We're going to have a girls weekend.  We've got a hotel room, and we plan on staying up till morning talking and catching up.  I love having friendships where you feel like you can just pick up where you left off, whether it's been a day, or a year since you've seen them.

Anyway, L is almost here.  She's about an hour away, and I'm sitting here at work so excited I can't stand it.

I'm going to be away from the computer for most if not all of the weekend.  I'll have lots of stories to fill you in on when I get back though.  Let's just hope we don't get kicked out of any stores (true story) or start any bar fights (yeah, another true story).  And especially hope that we have fun!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


So last week I got sick of being in pain, and made an appointment with the chiropractor.  Who also does accupuncture.

I went in last Wednesday for my first appointment, and I was really nervous.  Having some guy adjust my back, and stick needles in me?  It was starting to not seem very logical.  I didn't get any adjustments that day, just acupuncture.  And I started feeling better.  My back didn't hurt as bad.  And that night? I slept so soundly I almost missed my alarm.  Which for me was amazing. 

I went back last Friday for my second appointment.  I had more acupuncture done, got to lay on this amazing massage table, and then got adjusted.  Pure bliss.  The whole 45 minutes I was there were great.  I left his office feeling so much better (which is why I then worked myself to the bone over the weekend).

I had my third appointment last night.  Honestly, I am in love with accupunture.  It's so relaxing, and calming.  The acupuncturist (is that a word?) said a lot of people fall asleep during treatments.  I'm pretty sure I think too much to have that happen.  But being able to lay down for 20 minutes, uninterrupted, is heaven.

So far we're just doing some basic balancing of my chi, but next week when my cycle starts up again for real, we're moving in to fertility help.  Hear that ovaries?  You're days of being lazy underachievers are over!  I'm throwing Eastern and Western medicine at you next week. 

My Excuses; or What I Did Last Weekend

Hey, would you look at that.  It's been a whole week since I posted anything. . . .How did that happen?

Well, it's been busy.  I've got a huge project that I'm tackling at work.  It's supposed to be a shared project between me and Dingbat.  And I'm sure Dingbat will get half the credit (if not all of it), but damn it all, I'm too much of a perfectionist to let her mess this up.  In my defense Interwebs, she doesn't know how to use Excel.  At all.  And this project is an Excel project.  A big ol' Excel project wherein I determine how much bad guy A and bad guy B owe their victims in restitution.  All 530 victims.

Due to the above mentioned Big Project at work, my blog reading has fallen considerably behind.  As has my blog commenting.  I mean, seriously, they want me to work at work?  pshaw.

But Amber, I can hear you saying, you had a whole weekend to catch up. (Ok, I know you're not actually saying that, but work with me)  Here's what I did over my three day weekend.
  • Friday my mom and I painted my downstairs bathroom a beautiful shade of green that I found in the mistint section.  $5 paint? Awesome!
  • Since I spent so little on paint, I was able to buy a new light fixture and installed it myself.  That's right, myself!  I'm a little proud of myself, can you tell?
  • Then I decided that it would be fun to use a Mag.ic Era.ser on the tile in said bathroom (the tile also connects to my front door and kitchen) and see if it worked.  It did.  Unfortunately, the grout wasn't black like we thought when we moved into the house.  It's light gray.  Repeat after me "OMG how could you not know that, that is so gross, I'm never visiting your house"  I know, it was gross.  And since I now had a beautiful clean spot, I had to do the rest.  With smelly chemicals from Lo.wes. And a scrub brush.  On my hands and knees a la Cinderella.  I tried to get the animals to sing, but they were having none of it.
  • Saturday came, and I still didn't have the floor done, but I was working hard.  All together it took me almost 6 hours of scrubbing.  But, damn, that floor looks awesome!  You can visit now, it's safe.
  • Saturday also brought my parents, my MIL and FIL, my hubby's uncle and cousin, and my BIL to my house.  To deliver my hot tub.  Only, we had to cut down a tree to get it in the backyard.  And dismantle my fence.  And the fence broke.  So now we have to repair the fence.  sigh.  At least I got the hot tub.  Now I just have to make it work!
  • The hot tub was FREE.  Which means, it's going to need a whole lot of TLC.  We have to pour a cement pad for it to stay on so I can get my patio back.  I have to sand it down and revarnish it.  It has a leak that needs to be fixed.  We have to wire it up so that we have power.  But you know what?  I don't care, I'll do all that, because I finally got my hot tub!
  • Sunday found me not able to move without pain.  I couldn't figure it out until I thought back over what I'd done the past two days.  Hmm. . . maybe there was a good reason.
  • We went to my MIL and FIL's house Sunday for a grown up Easter egg hunt.  She put $$ in the eggs.  What a blast!  I got $8, and was thrilled.  My hubby only got $4. I win!
  • Then we went home, cleaned up the house, and I started cooking my first Easter dinner.  And guess what?  It was delicious!  We had my parents, his parents and his Grandma come over for dinner, and it was so much fun.  And did I mention delicious?  Yeah, another thing I'm proud of.
By the time Sunday night came around, I was asleep by 9.  What a weekend!!