Dreams

I had an amazing, yet heartbreaking dream last night.  And it's pretty much all I can think about this morning.

I've told you that baby girls name will be Anna Beth.  The Beth part comes from my Grandma.  She was, and will always be, my hero.  She was the center of everything, the one with all the knowledge and answers.  She always had a solution to a problem, although sometimes the solutions were not practical at all.  She died in 2006, and I miss her so very much.

Last night I had a dream where she visited me at my house.  I got to show her around, and she talked to me about how proud she was that I was married and a homeowner.  We both oohed and ahhed over all the baby things in the nursery.  She told me how excited she was that I was having a baby.  She gave me a great big hug and told me that I was going to be a great mother.  I wanted to stay in that dream forever, but finally my Grandma told me she had to go, but that she would be watching over me and baby girl.

I'm not an overly religious person, but I am very spiritual.  And I know that wherever great people like my Grandma go after they die, that she's happy there.  And I'm holding on to the idea that it wasn't just a dream, that somehow I was really with her last night.  And that she will watch over me and little Anna Beth.

And I hope that someday, I can explain to my baby girl how special her name really is.