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Last Thursday morning started out like any and every morning.  Woke up and ran went to the bathroom.  Didn't think anything was wrong until I wiped.  And saw red blood.  Red.  Cue huge freak out. 

I went back to the bedroom and stretched out next to my husband, who, smart man that he is, immediately figured out something was wrong.  It could have been because I never get back into bed once I'm awake and getting ready for work.  Or it could have been the sobs.  You pick.

Called the after hours line at my doctors office.  I just kept thinking of all of the blog ladies I've read who had bleeding and everything turned out ok.  Finally got a call back.  I told the doctor on call about the spotting and how far along we were, and he wanted us to come in for an ultrasound just to make sure everything was ok.  He said that more than likely everything was fine, but that having me worry isn't worth it.

Then I wait for an appointment time.  Did I mention that my doctor takes Thursdays off?  So I'm laying at home, in bed, freaking out that something is wrong with Bubbles, and thinking that I'm going to have to meet another doctor.  Anyway, as I'm laying there worrying myself to pieces I get a phone call.  From my doctor.  And he wants me to come in that afternoon for an ultrasound that he will perform.  On his day off. 

Cue the tears.   I called my husband (he went to work because of a big project) and he agreed to meet me at the doctors office.  Meanwhile, I've called work and told them I'm sick, and called my mother and told her the same thing.  I just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone else that Bubbles might be in trouble.

When we got to the doctors office, he was waiting for us and took us right down to the ultrasound machine.  And then, after what seemed like forever, we saw a picture of Bubbles, looking fine and healthy!  And next to Bubbles (and Bubbles living area) was a good sized dark patch.  The doctor said it was probably blood, and to expect more spotting.  He said it was probably what caused the spotting, and probably (yes, he said that word that many times) because of the placenta attaching to my uterine wall.

Here's the fun part though.  He said that that patch of darkness is most likely what the ultrasound tech thought was the twin.  I'm still not sure about the second yolk sac, and neither is my doctor.  He has never seen any additional yolk sacs at any of my ultrasounds.  Maybe it was just a weird glitch in the ultrasound machine at the study place?  I'll probably (hehe) never know.

It's a week later, and I've had no more spotting.  We've made it to 10 weeks and 4 days.  It still seems very unreal to me.  My fertile friends say that it started to hit home for them when they missed their second cycle.  But I've gone months without a period, so missing two in a row doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

Things at Work

So, today I decided to go out to eat for lunch.  I work downtown, but I really wanted something out of the immediate area, so I drove to a yummy soup place (this is not the story, but back story, I promise!)

On my way back I had to get a little creative due to some closed streets.  But, never fear, I made it to the street my office is on.  All I had to do was make a right hand turn.  Except there were pedestrians crossing the street.  And that same corner houses the police station.  So I figured I'd be nice (ie, law abiding) and let the pedestrians cross the street. 

The guy behind me didn't see it that way.  He got super pissed off, and starting honking his horn at me.  I looked in my rear view mirror and he was making all sorts of fun hand gestures and mouthing words I probably don't want to know.  So, being me, I decided, F him, and waited for the people to cross the street. 

They finally cross (with a wave and a thank you to me) and I turn the corner.  But idiot in the car behind me is really angry that I made him wait an extra 10 seconds (yes I timed it) so he turns wide to get in front of me and then cuts me off and slams on his brakes.  WTF?  OK, now I'm pissed.  You just put my hard earned baby at risk.  I may or may not have flipped him off.  I plead the fifth.

Not only does he slam on his brakes, he then proceeds to drive really slowly, like 5mph slow to show me how cool he is.  Whatever.  I turn into the parking garage for work, and he turns into the parking lot next to it and just stares at me.  Watches me park.  Freaks me the hell out.

So, I sat in my car, and called my office.  Luckily we have a security guard.  A really big, tough, mean looking security guard.  I called the receptionist, and she had the guard come out.  I waited in my car for him to show up.  By that time the idiot in the car had fled.  Either way, I was grateful for the escort back into the building.

And then you know what happens?  I start crying.  At work.  Shit.  Everyone seemed to understand, but it's hard enough some days being a woman at work, but then add crying to that?  Stupid pregnancy hormones!
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And on another note, I have to tell you what Dingbat said to me this afternoon.

"Boy, I better not miss my family reunion because you have your baby"

Um, yeah, I'll work on that.

New Baby

My SIL R had her baby today!  I don't have pictures (I'm not sure if I could post them anyway).  The baby and R are doing great.  Baby was 6 pounds 11 ounces and 19 inches long.

We get to go see her tonight.  I'm really excited.  I'm not going to lie though, this would be a really hard day if Bubbles weren't with us. 

As it is, I'm still nervous about going to the maternity ward at a hospital and seeing all the new moms with their babies.  I wish there were a badge for infertiles.  It wouldn't hurt so much if while walking by the nursery you saw the badge on the babies name plate, or on the mother's door.

At least that way I'd only have to be bitter about some of the babies, not all of them!

NuMom2b Study Visit One

I wasn't going to talk much about my participation in this study.  However, I looked at my stats and found that there have been a lot of people that have found my blog by searching for the NuMom2b study.  A quick search myself led me to the conclusion that there really isn't much information out there about this study.  I'm hoping that by writing about it, it will give others more information and help them make the decision on whether or not to join.

So I went to my first study visit last night.  They had already sent me a whole bunch of paperwork to fill out and bring in to my first visit.  I had to fill out a consent form, a couple of authorizations for them to get my delivery records, a W-9 (because they are paying me $50), a questionnaire about my eating habits before I got pregnant (really long, reminded me of the SAT/ACT in high school), and a page asking me questions about my emotional state.  It was a lot of paperwork! 

So I got to the study, turned in my paperwork, and was taken back to an exam room.  The first thing that happened was that I received my ultrasound.  I got to see Bubbles again!  And Bubbles now has arm and leg blobs!  It was pretty awesome to see, and I got to hear the heartbeat. 

After the ultrasound I had to provide samples of blood, urine and a swab up my hoo haa.  Not to bad actually.  After that I was supposed to have an internal exam (ie, with a speculum), but as I came out of the bathroom, I was cornered by three ladies who had concerned looks on their faces.

Why?  Well because they thought they'd seen two yolk sacks on the ultrasound.  I'm pretty sure my heart stopped.  So I had to have an internal ultrasound to find out if there were twins, because if there were twins, I couldn't be in the study.  But by having the internal ultrasound, it would mess up something about the internal exam, and they wouldn't be able to do it that night.  I of course chose to have the internal ultrasound (hello, better pictures of Bubbles!).

So, as soon as the ultrasound starts, the tech says, see, two yolk sacs.  I stopped breathing.  Then she zooms in and gets a better look, and I'm not sure what she saw the other times, but there was just one baby.  She checked around for about 5 minutes, but no other baby was found.  I resumed breathing, and felt my heart go back to normal.

It's not that I wouldn't love twins, it was just such a shock!  I immediately starting thinking of all the additional complications and costs, and how was I going to tell The Husband, etc.

Anywho, I have to go back Thursday for the internal exam.  So I don't have any details on that yet.  But I was sent home with more homework!  I had to fill out forms about my sleep habits, my emotional state, The Husbands family background, my family background, and blood issues.  It sure is interesting!

I'll post again when I know more about the internal exam.  Meanwhile, I'll leave you with a picture of Bubbles with leg and arm blobs!

Introducing Baby Bubbles!

Heartbeat!

We saw a heartbeat today!  What a beautiful sight!!  The baby is growing right on track, and measured at 7 weeks 5 days.  I have pictures, but can't find either the scanner or the camera to get them on here, but I will post them as soon as I can.

A heartbeat, can you imagine?  This may actually be happening!

Baby Shower Help

No, not mine (but please let us make it that far).  The shower is for my SIL R.  She asked me to volunteer for the games because my MIL, quite honestly, picks the dumbest games ever.  MIL also MUST HAVE GAMES at her showers.  And she gets out of sorts if no one plays them.  Sigh.

So, in I step, and volunteer to take over the games.  Because I'm selfless like that (haha).  Ok, maybe its more like I hate going to the damn things, hate playing all the dumb games, hate watching preggers people open tiny gifts with tiny clothes and tiny toys. . . Yes, I know I'm preggers now.  No, that doesn't take away my hatred for all things baby shower.  So by doing the games, I thought I'd at least have control over one aspect of the dreary happy occasion.

So, rambling aside, I'm stuck.  I need to have a couple of games to play to appease my MIL, but they need to not completely suck to appease everyone else.  Oh, and if they didn't have to relate to how fabulous it is that R is pregnant and going to pop, that'd be great too.

Help!

PS any advice on how to get through these things without drinking would be great too!