Hope, or "Who let that b**** out of the closet?"

For all things holy, those of you battling IF know how painful hope can be.  I try to keep my hope locked in a closet, and barricaded by all of my insecurities and disappointments.  Usually this works quite well.  Until yesterday (cue the dramatic music)

Yesterday I went in to see my OBGYN because I KNEW I had a bladder infection.  I had pain, you know, down there, and I feel like I have to go, and then nada.  Seemed pretty classic UTI stuff to me.  So I go in, and wait for an hour because some preggers gal had an emergency.  Sigh.

Then themostfabulousdoctor comes in and sits down to talk to me.  And he sighs, and says "You don't have a bladder infection.  There is some bacteria in your sample (and on a side note, thanks to IF I now pee in a cup like a pro!) but not enough to warrant the pain you are feeling"  And then he has me describe the pain, which is all over my lower abdomen, kind of like cramps, or what cramps would feel like if they carried switchblades and had attitudes.  I mean to tell you the pain woke me up out of a dead sleep!

And then he smiles and says "I think you might be pregnant"  OMGWTFBBQ. . . what?  And he asks about other things "Do your breasts hurt" check "Are you feeling nauseated?" double check.  Of course, I still know better than him right?  After all I know all about IPS (imaginary pregnancy symptoms).

Then he takes the last step towards that hope closet, and swings open the door by saying "I've had quite a few women in your situation, dealing with infertility, and I've had them come in complaining of the same pain.  Then a few weeks later we find out they are pregnant." 

Holy mother of all that's holy (yeah, its redundant, deal with it) he went and did it.  He let that b**** of hope out of her closet.  And she's been nagging me all day. 

Seriously, someone needs to take themostfabulousdoctor aside and let him know that it isn't cool to give me hope.

He took blood.  I'll have results soon.