Aack! Work

Wow, Interwebs!  It's been a very busy week for me!  I've been trying to keep up with ICLW, but not doing as well as I'd hoped! 

It's all Work's fault.  You see Work has been making me get up at 6am every day.  Then Work makes me skip lunch because I have no time.  You'd think that Work would be satisfied by disrupting those two, well, sacred things.  But no.  Work then doesn't let me get home until around 630 or 7 at night.  And even then, Work doesn't leave me alone.  Nope, Work has been following me home every night.  Sometimes Work keeps me up talking to people until 9pm.  And when I try to sleep?  Work has been invading my dreams. 

Expect to see a slightly diminished presence from me until I get Work under control.  In fact, I have to run. Work found me on my blog, and it's now destroying my desk!

Attention Deficit, Oooh, Sparkly!

I love, love, love jewelry.  Especially bracelets.  And I loved the idea of using crystals to help center my focus and help with infertility.  And I found both in fellow blogger Jenny's Etsy site, Bloomtastic.  Go check it out.  Seriously, right now, I'll wait.

Back?  Aren't they amazing, and beautiful?  Don't you love how the stones are not just pretty but have meanings behind them?  I got this one, but added a special charm to it to make it mine.

Isn't it beautiful?  I got it in the mail tonight, and I put it on right away.  It feels like it belongs on my wrist, which sounds weird to say, but its the truth.  This bracelet is already a part of me.

The charm was my own, and one that I've had for many years.  I got it at a time in my life where I was scraping bottom emotionally (I've actually written a post about this, but it's not going to be posted until October 1st.  There's a reason for that, and I hope you come back and read it!).  I wore it on a necklace every day to help me believe in myself.  One day, I didn't feel like I needed it anymore, and I put it away in my jewelry chest and forgot about it.

Then IF hit, and I started to doubt myself again.  I started sinking back into my depression.  I started believing things that had been said to me long ago; things that I thought I'd overcome.

And then I saw Jenny's bracelets.  And as I was looking through the pictures, I felt like I needed one, but I needed it to be mine.  And all of a sudden, I thought of that charm.  The one that helped me so much before.  Jenny added it to the bracelet, and now my charm has come back to me.  Back to remind me that I have to believe in myself.

Thank you Jenny.

Good thing I asked for questions. . .

Because I am once again brain dead tonight!  However, something interesting did happen today, so I've got to tell you about that, and then I'll start answering questions!

I had to park on the street this morning for work, and I didn't do that swell of a job (I hugely dislike parallel parking).  A big work van parked in front of me, and due to my lame parking skills, the front of the van was in front of a driveway.  I didn't want to be the reason for the van to get hit, so I got out of my car, talked to the guy driving, and then moved my car a bit so he could back up and get the van out of harms way.

He ended up walking the same way as me, and even going into the same building.  So we talked a bit about really dumb things, and then parted.  And I honestly didn't think about it again.  Just a random occurrence right?

Wrong!  I got out to my car, and he's left his business card on my window.  I thought at first it was just an add, but no, when I flipped it over, he'd written "Text me!"  I didn't/haven't.  Seriously, did I just get hit on?
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Kristin's Questions:
1. What is your college degree in?
Sociology with an emphasis in criminology.  It was actually my fourth major.  I started in elementary education, moved to English, had a another move to business, and then finally to sociology.  I really loved it as a major in school, as a major in the real world? Not so much!
2. When you dream about experiencing the world, where do you dream about being?
Ooh, good question!  Honestly, I'm so happy right where I'm at right now.  Well, I'd be happier with a little non furry child running around, but wouldn't all of us IFers say that?  I'm really happy with my job; I love being able to help people.  I love our little house, and I love the town we live in.  The only thing that could make me happier would be to have more girlfriends I could randomly hang out with.
3. How long have you been crocheting and what is your favorite type of yarn to use?
Funny story.  I started crocheting in college because I wanted to make my mom something special for Christmas without spending a lot of money.  I got her to teach me a few stitches, and then hid the project from her, and worked on it between classes.  She got mad at me for "wasting her time" by not using the skills she taught me.  Boy was she red in the face at Christmas!  I've been crocheting for about 9 years now, and I love it!  I would love to use the really soft, expensive yarns more, but they get pricey for afghans.  Mostly I use the kind called "I Love this Yarn" from Hobby Lobby.
4. If you could do any job in the world, what would it be?
Author.  Hands down!  I love telling stories, inventing characters, and places.  If not author, maybe book critic.  Getting paid to read. . . how cool would that be?!
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Ok, I will get to the rest of the questions tomorrow!  I'm totally head nodding as I write this and I don't want to skimp on answers.  I am so happy that you guys all asked questions though!  This is fun!

Happy ICLW day 2!

Yeah, I kinda felt bad for not posting as much as I used to (Thanks Samantha, hehe) and figured I'd post something again tonight.

But honestly?  I've got nothing.  No great ideas, no moving social commentary, not even a bomb scare to write about.

My head?  It's pretty much empty right now.  Work was hectic and stressful, and I loved every minute of it, but it left me absolutely brain dead tonight.

I thought about finding a cute, funny, or something else picture to post, but that sounded like a lot of effort.  So, I'm giving you, yes you, dear Interwebs an assignment.  I'm assuming I'm going to be equally brain dead tomorrow night, so I'm asking you to ask me questions.  Give me something to blog about!

ICLW by bullet point!

I am so excited for ICLW again!  It's been such a great way for me to connect to new people!

If you are a regular follower, you know how much I heart bullet point lists.  Seriously, I would make every post have bullet points if I could.  But, I figure that takes away from the specialness of the little square box (or circle, or funny symbol.  See how versatile the bullet point is?)

• We have been TTC for 15 months.  I took clomid for three months, and ended up with a ginormous pair of cysts, and the nickname "Bubbles".  We took a break month, and then started femara.  Didn't ovulate, so I'm now on provera, and will try a higher dose of femera on my next cycle.
• I am the proud fur parent of a shih tsu named Moo and a cat named Mister.  They make coming home at night after a tough day wonderful.
• I've been married to my hubby for almost three years.  Our anniversary is October 13!  
• For our anniversary trip this year, we are going to Tahoe.  I am so excited!  We wanted to go there on our honeymoon, but it was recovering from a forest fire.  We ended up going to Vegas.  And yes, we do seem to go to places where we can gamble for milestones.
• As a totally unrelated to my introduction side note, it's really hard to get to work when the bomb squad blocks the roads to blow up a suspicious briefcase that ended up holding a sandwich and a video tape.  Yeah, the day went downhill from there.  But really, is there any way for a day to improve after a bomb scare?
• And on a side note to my side note, I'm totally glad it wasn't a bomb.  I really do appreciate the fact that there are people out there to keep us safe.
• Also, I'm typing this all on my hubby's laptop.  Because he is playing Civ V, a nerdy computer game and I can't use my computer because his friend is over here playing as well.  And you know what really bugs me?  Today is the first day to play this game, and I don't get to play.

Well, I think that's enough for one bullet list.  I mean, there should be limits to them, right?  Because otherwise I would have no self control. . . .

I get to come to work on Monday!  Feel free to do a happy dance with me!

I don't know who I'm going to work for, how much I'm going to make, or if I'll have benefits.  But (and this is an important 'but') it's better than unemployment!

Happy dance! Big Smiles!  Now off to text message everyone and let them know!

The results are in

And I didn't ovulate this month.  The nurse said my progesterone levels were below 0.5, so yeah.  Not a lot of hope there.  I'm expecting a phone call tomorrow from the doctor to discuss what's next.  Sigh.

But in a positive way, I think my not ovulating did something good.  I got a phone call from my mom tonight asking about the blood test results.  I told her that I hadn't ovulated and explained what the numbers meant.  And then she says to me (and you have to understand I'm not mad at her for this) "Huh, there is something to this then.  You really don't ovulate on your own."  She didn't go so far as to take back her claim that relaxing will help me, but it's a start!

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In other news, it's down to the wire with my job.  My contract ends tomorrow (well, honestly it ends Sunday, which is really dumb when you work M-F).  They thought they had something in the works to renew my contract, but it fell through this week.  Now they are scrambling to get something in place to pay me until a new contract can be made.

I'll let you in on a secret: being a contract worker has definite downsides.

This week has been, well, interesting at work.  I've been cleaning up my desk, finishing projects that are due in the next couple of months, and I even had a "goodbye for now" lunch with my girlfriends.  I'll be thrilled if I'm still at work next Monday, but it will be strange to not have looming projects, a clean desk, and a "hooray, I'm back even though I never left" lunch.

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Also, I have put my camping pictures on my computer, and I promise I will upload them.  Maybe even tomorrow!

Seven Little Stones

I heard an amazing song today.




It made me think about who and what has been holding me up during this IF battle.  And my first thought was of my blogger friends and how much blogging has helped me.

So thank you ladies.  Thank you for helping hold me up, and for helping me to smile through the dark moments.  Thank you for your humor and your hugs.  I don't know where I'd be without them.

FML version 2

So, while we were camping the topic of my infertility came up (I'm very open with my family and friends about our struggles. The only thing I hide is my blog).  I was telling them about the femara, and the lack of icky side effects and all that.  And I casually mentioned to my SIL R, that next time they want to get pregnant again, she should ask for it instead.  As a refresher, R is the one who got pregnant after her first month on clomid.

And then I had a serious WTF moment with her.  Because she doesn't believe it was the clomid that got her pregnant.  And it wasn't the metformin the doctor put her on either.  Nope, even though they tried on their own for two years with no luck, and the first time they get help they got pregnant, it wasn't the drugs. 

Know what it was?  She relaxed.  FML.

Camping. . . again

Well, interwebs, I'm off for another camping trip.  Hopefully this one turns out better than the last one.  Last time we only spent one night, and then had to go home due to a huge rainstorm. 

This time, I'm heading to Boulder, Utah.  It's a lot of fun, and southern Utah is so beautiful!  If you ever get the opportunity to see southern Utah interwebs, take it.  I grew up around it, and it still stuns me by how different and starkly beautiful it is.  I'll take lots of pictures, as always, and hopefully actually post a few!

I'm a few days into my 2ww.  I go into the doctors office next Tuesday for a blood draw to see if I ovulated.  I'm not entirely sure this time, but the opks said I did.

Also, a question for anyone who has taken femara.  I have the sorest bbs right now.  Like, wishing I could wear a bra to bed sore.  Is that normal for that drug?  Or am I just special?

I hope you all have a fabulous Labor Day weekend!