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Saturday, March 13, 2010

Premonition?

I’ve always guessed that I’d have problems becoming a mom.  When I was 13, I had to go to our family doctor because of an almost three month period.  I was so anemic they almost gave me a blood transfusion.  The Doctor put me on bc pills and sent me home.  No tests were run.

I was on and off of bc pills for all of my teenage years, and college years.  When I was off, my cycles were screwy.   Talking with my new obgyn, themostfabulousdoctor, it’s probably saved me a lot of heartache now by being on them so long before.  He said that being on the bc pills probably saved a lot of my eggs.

In college, I did stupid college girls things, had one steady boyfriend, and a couple of pregnancy scares.  Looking back on those scares made me start to question my fertility.  I’d done everything I wasn’t supposed to do to avoid pregnancy (ie, stopped taking bc pills, having unprotected sex) and hadn’t gotten pregnant.  That told me that maybe it wasn’t going to be so easy for me.

Putting that together with what happened to my 13 year old self, and I came to realize that I might not be able to get pregnant.  It wasn’t, and isn’t, a for sure thing that I won’t.  I still have hope that I will be a bio mom.  But when things started getting serious between me and my hubby when we were dating, I told him what had happened to me up to that point.  Not a fun conversation to have.

And you know what the sweet man said?  That it didn’t matter.  That he’d be happy if we adopted kids.  He wasn’t with me for my ability to give him a family, but because he loved me.  Interwebs, if I hadn’t known I was in love with him before then that would have sealed the deal.

We got married, and decided we wanted to wait a few years for kids.  Fast forward to last May.  I went to my yearly exam, talked to the doctor and decided to start trying.  Removed the goalie.  Told everyone how excited I was to start trying, knowing it would just be a matter of time right? (even though I suspected problems I was still optimistic)

That brings us to January.  9 months and 4 cycles later, I knew I had a problem.  That’s when I found the obgyn, themostfabulousdoctor, and he tentatively diagnosed me with PCOS after hearing my history.  And so, here we are.  In the midst of The Plan. 

I’m really getting excited to have a real chance at having a baby.  But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if anyone else had any idea that they would have problems before they started trying.  Am I the only one?

2 comments:

  1. I never even thought about the pill saving eggs! Makes sense! All those years of buying pills weren't a total waste!!!

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  2. I don't think of them so much as premonitions, but I used to say "if I can have kids" instead of "when I have kids" before I even started TTC. I think I was a little concerned because I had been charting for so long without birth control and had a couple of slip-ups but never any unintended pregnancy. Sometimes I wonder if it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sigh...

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