The Announcement: The good and the bad

I'm thinking that I'm going to have to break this up into a couple of posts.  But first we'll start with the inevitable.  By telling our families, we've now been outed on Facebook.  Yeah.  Wasn't ready for that.  For the most part, everyones reactions have been great.  Except my cousins, who shall now be known as family members that are on the shit list, or mother f-ers.  Take your pick.  I'll get to that part though.

First, my parents reaction.  We went to their house yesterday morning to open presents.  We hid my parents presents and waited until all the gifts were opened.  They were getting ready to head up and make breakfast, and we told them that they both still had one present left.  I also made them open them at the same time.  Mom opened her ornament, and got really quiet.  She looked at me, and I started crying and she just kept saying "really?"  Dad opened his present which was a University of Utah onesie.  Which he promptly put on his present pile and started to walk away.  Mom said to him "Dad, don't you know what that is?" and he responded "Yeah, it's another outfit for the damn dog."  Seriously, I almost died then.  So then Mom shows him the ornament, and he gets this big ol smile on his face.  It was awesome.  Truly just as magical as I hoped it would be.

But once mom had that ornament, she didn't want to let it go.  She started showing everyone.  And I decided to relax, because it was family, and they love me.

Until the cousin bitch showed up.  I'm having my moment of happiness, and you know what she says to me? "You shouldn't have told anyone.  You're going to have a miscarriage." And walked away.

I know there are risks.  I know that just being pregnant doesn't mean I'll have a baby in nine months.  I know how many baby loss mommas are out there.  But I was within the safety of my family, surrounded by people that I assumed loved me and would support me.  For her to tell me that in such a callous way cut me to the core.

I ran upstairs and cried for about twenty minutes.  I was heartbroken.  I still am, quite honestly.  And those little niggling doubts that have been in my head since seeing the positive?  They have become huge screaming monsters.  I don't want her to be right.  I don't want to lose this baby.  But if that happens, at least I know I have the love of most of my family to support me.

Wow, sorry for the long rant.  I'm just really upset, and don't see myself getting over this anytime soon.

Anyway, I'll write another post soon telling you how we announced it to his family, and why we've been outed on facebook.  It's been an interesting weekend.